![]() ![]() ![]() “Saddest thing about Matt Damon’s macho-baiting crypto pitch where the viewer must ACT NOW or he’s a weak pussy is that this is a top 3 classic pitch all financial schemes have used to goad men into forking over their paltry savings,” tweeted journalist Adam H. Of course, like most things that have come out of The Last Duel star’s mouth in recent years, Twitter couldn’t resist ripping this bombastic script to shreds. However, few have implemented such galaxy-brain arguments as comparing the expansion of science and traversing unexplored portions of the Earth to putting your life savings into Bitcoin during a financial recession, all the while implying that life is a meritocracy that economically rewards people based on the size of their balls. So it’s no surprise that actors, musicians and influencers alike are being paid handsomely to endorse whatever phony avenues of money and fake assets they can get their hands on and convince us to waste. The rest of his overwrought, thoroughly corporate-sounding monologue goes, “In these moments of truth, these men and women, these mere mortals, just like you and me, as they peer over the edge, they calm their minds and steel their nerves with four simple words that have been whispered by the intrepid since the time of the Romans: Fortune favors the brave.”Ĭelebrities famously love telling us where to put our money, whether they’re promoting their own products, starring in commercials for Pepsi or selling detox teas on Instagram. ![]()
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